Stop letting your down

My heart is hurting,

Feels like a shooting.

A bullet from the outside,

Comes and strikes the inside.

My heart stops beating,

And my head stops breathing.

Everything gets cold,

I fall down an endless hole.

My heart is empty,

Sad, confused and lonely.

My mind starts aching,

A scream so breath-taking.

My heart screams for help,

My head won’t get help.

A forever-fight,

Every day, every night.

My heart starts crying,

And my eyes are lying.

Because my inside hell,

Is killing myself.

My heart is like snow,

In light it glows.

And if it meets a fear,

It disappears.

My heart is not a tool.

And I won’t be a fool.

But still I sit and wait.

For a beautiful day.

Unfortunately, too many young people are struggling with feelings of self-worth or even self loath. I have had my own struggles with never feeling worthy. It caused my so much pain and suffering in my life. I took everything that happened around and made it my fault. I was so use to things being blamed on me, that if you had told me that I was the reason for world hunger, I properly would have believed you.

The pain of bearing everyone’s happiness on my shoulders made me spiral downwards. I didn’t want to be that person that anyone could depend on, the weight just become to much.

I began talking myself down, telling me what a failure I was, unreliable, weak, unpretty and dumb. I convienced myself that it was a bad thing if I got to happy. Because as everyone know, the higher you fly, the longer you fall.

I decided that I wasn’t going to be BFF with my own inner pain anymore, I wanted happiness and joy in the life I am living. I didn’t want to see everything pass me by while I sat in a corner alone.